Spooky Halloween News: War Machine Is Doing Porn
Well, this new development is appropriately terrifying for Halloween. War Machine, the fighter formally known as Jon Koppenhaver, has decided to do away with any lingering shreds of dignity that might have been clinging to him without his knowledge, and has officially become a porn star. The video above shows him receiving his first ass waxing to make his butt camera-ready, and while it probably wasn't necessary for him to post that to YouTube he did perform a public service by letting all the kids out there know that life as a porn star isn't all glamour and lube. There's actually some unsavory elements to it. Who knew?
He says he shot his first scene with Riley Steele and described it as "fucking awesome," before explaining that he took the gig because fighting wasn't paying the bills and he refuses to work for a living. It's like I've always said, when life gives you lemons, make a video of you having sex with those lemons and put it on the internet.
Related:
- War Machine: "F@ck an Obama"
- War Machine Arrested in Vegas
- War Machine Apologizes for Ridiculous Behavior
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Comments
Goat Says:
Whore Machine.
itsyourboyerik Says:
i just cancelled my membership with brazzers
Peetee Says:
Now I want to wax my eyes off....
Goog Says:
I can't decide if Riley is kinda hot or looks like the makeup job in White Chicks.
One Two Says:
living the dream
maybe he can hook his buddy junie up as the lighting guy
@ goog in case you want to investigate further www.xvideos.com/video233612/naked_aces_5_riley_steele
Pingu Says:
I'm struggling to think of anything worse.
...Well, I suppose War Machine could come and fuck me, but that's about all I got.
itsyourboyerik Says:
@pingu
ghey secks is not the answer
NateGetsIrate Says:
Sooo... he gets paid to fight chumps. And now he gets paid to fuck really hot sluts.
All of a sudden Warmachine has replaced Obama as the man i look up to. Fuck an Obama, indeed.
Lecter Says:
Those who can't fight, fuck.
Shifty Says:
Kimbo can apply to be War Machine's body guard after this whole TUF thing if over, because lets face it, MMA isn't looking so hot for either one of them.
DiazBros209 Says:
Get Money
Get Paid
War Whore Machine
BeastUnleashed Says:
Someone reup the ass waxing.
TeamZipper Says:
Is this really news???? What is the sport coming to when you have nothing bettter to report on????
BobWall Says:
Was it a gay porn? Cuz.....you know
Neebleton Says:
somewhere, in the distance, Mr. Miyagi shakes his head and wonders how someone could have misunderstood his directions so completely
Scott_Whitt Says:
Why are you talking about War Machine? Look at how bad things are going for Riley Steele. She may as well be banging guys from the Stern Whack Pack.
Angled Dangle Says:
Wait a minute... is the source credible? If it's War saying this, the term "pornstar" may be stretched.
You could be a "porn star" (used loosely, no pun, no homo) if:
- You happen to be really good with a mop
- You fluff like a Dyson
- You have a classic O-face
Even the sound guy could technically be a porn star, if he is the best at what he does with the audio / shit techno music.
My guess is that he's with the mop.
Angled Dangle Says:
STUNT COCK
the glza Says:
i didn't get to see the video before it was removed -- he's doing gay porn, right?
busted_cranium Says:
Nothing says "awesome" like sticking your cock in something with all the viscosity of a 30-year-old catcher's mit.
Dana Mother Fcu... Says:
@Goat
*golf clap*
Dana Mother Fcu... Says:
@ Goat
Very nice, you sir, are a man of my own heart.
boggsnort Says:
I heard he is legally changing his name to "It hurts when I pee Machine"
Left_Boob_Telligman Says:
The hand grenade tattoo on his neck was apparently a metaphor all along. The imminent explosion...herpes
waqqo Says:
@ Neebleton > that's fuckin' hillarious brah!!!
the only thing that made me laugh 2day!!!
Wyatt Says:
Can we just add him to the news ban list? Unless he drops dead there is nothing I would enjoy reading about him
WuTangClan Says:
Update the video Ben(s)
Stupid faggots
battleshape Says:
Take solice in the fact that he's doing it with girls. Cuz if he's after the $$$ Im sure there are porn companies that would offer higher money for some gay fetish bjj porn...or maybe he will...I sure hope not.
PingPong Says:
Now all he needs is a meth problem and he'll be on next seasons Intervention.