Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Stephan Bonnar Suspended for One Year Following Failed UFC 153 Drug Test, Dave Herman to Receive Much Weirder Punishment

(Unfortunately for him, Bonnar’s sad puppy face failed to inspire any sympathy.) 

Not that it really matters given his retirement from the sport and all, but according to the UFC’s VP of regulatory affairs, Marc Ratner, the verdict has already been turned in for Stephan Bonnar, who pissed hot after his UFC 153 loss to Anderson Silva. “The American Psycho” will receive a one year suspension as a result of his positive test for Drostanolone. But again, being that Bonnar pulled a Richard Nixon and got the fuck out of office — thereby negating the weight of all possible punishments — we’re sure he won’t be planning on putting up much of a fight. The fact that he has yet to even make a statement regarding his test further solidifies this theory.

But here’s where things get interesting.

Also according to Ratner, the punishment in the case of Dave Herman‘s second failed test for marijuana will not only be a suspension of “months,” but could require him to enter a rehab facility as well.

As he told MMAFighting:

Other sports have a difference between PEDs and recreational drugs.

We feel very strongly that there’s a big difference between PED’s [performance-enhancing drugs] and marijuana. We think the commissions do a good job with PEDs, but we think with marijuana there should be some form of rehab involved, going through that kind of process and learning about it.

Let’s just back the judgmental truck up for a second, Mr. Ratner. If you’re one of the ten remaining people on this earth who thinks that the general public needs to be made more aware of any possible effects/dangers of marijuana, fine. That is clearly not the case for 90% of today’s youth, let alone a grown ass man like Dave Herman, but this is America, and although we may not agree with your assessment, we will defend to the death your right to say it.

But if you are going to declare that a fighter should have to undergo more treatment for a positive marijuana test than for a positive steroid-related test – in a combat sport, mind you — then it really calls to question your judgement as a former executive director of one of the athletic commission’s that are doing such a “good job” controlling steroid usage. While one of the substances you just mentioned allows a person to do little more than make it through a Taco Bell mexican pizza without vomiting, the other has a side effect that includes the word “rage” in the phrase. And you think fighters need to be made more aware of the possible dangers the former could lead to?

I don’t even know anymore. You Taters can take this one.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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dipsetkilla316- November 8, 2012 at 11:38 am
Plus how the ive never hurd of a german name like that
dipsetkilla316- November 8, 2012 at 11:37 am
U should bow u nazi fuck lol
macreadysshack- November 7, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Since Bonnar is retired, I think that instead of a suspension, he should get a real punishment . . . be forced to fight Jon Jones in a five rounder. Let him take whatever he wants to. I think Rohypnol would be a sound choice.
macreadysshack- November 7, 2012 at 12:52 pm
'I've pulled over as far as I can! I can't pull over any farther!!!!'
dipsetkilla316- November 7, 2012 at 10:29 am
Take ur sandnigger ass back were u came from
Null Kuhl- November 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm
What gave away my Middle-Eastern ethnicity? Was it the fact that my screen name is German? I bow to your superior intellect!
dipsetkilla316- November 7, 2012 at 10:24 am
Null ur mothers cunt is more affective
Null Kuhl- November 7, 2012 at 6:11 pm
I believe the word you are looking for is "effective".
Alan K- November 7, 2012 at 8:54 am
Ratner needs to chill out and rethink this. Someone get him some weed.
godspeed- November 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm
Bonner should have known bath salts to win not weed.
holeeball- November 6, 2012 at 8:38 pm
@RwilsonR I think they tried that with Nick but gave up after the 10th or so bag.
holeeball- November 6, 2012 at 8:36 pm
This article is all wrong!!!!1111!11
Mr. Ratner wants everyone to know that you should take steroids instead of weed. I mean weed is so BAD it requires rehab. Steroids require cycle.. see much less harmful.

Also, Nick must be fuming. GET IT HAHAHAHAHA
RwilsonR- November 6, 2012 at 7:39 pm
Why can't Ratner just punish PeeWee like a 50's Dad would handle the situation? "So you like marijuana, do you? Then I'm going to sit here while you smoke the whole bag."
masterbaitntackle- November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm
@ 2Dadeath: Nice half-baked reference.....BOO THIS MAN!!!!
MassNerder- November 6, 2012 at 5:12 pm
This is the Mark Ratner we're talking about, right?
oc in this bitch- November 6, 2012 at 4:53 pm
easy fix if u piss positive for any PEDs u dont get paid a penny
RSparrow- November 6, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Shatterproof, there's nothing hot about the jacked cheerleader
shatterproof- November 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm
God, i rarely even make it past these 'Around the Web' ads into the comments anymore. CP contributes far too much to my chronic masturbation. Thank god no one tests for that, yet.
RSparrow- November 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Danga, thats not from T Bell. Even at 3am I know it looks different than that.
teep- November 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm
So the real question is: Will Bonnar be suspended from announcing for a year? Because announcing and staying up all night with a newborn with colic are his only jobs now.
Null Kuhl- November 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Who needs rehab when you could just force the offenders to read dipsetkilla316's incoherent comments instead? It'll save money AND be more effective.
mcdolph- November 6, 2012 at 3:47 pm
You should send Ratner a Cagepotato T-shirt shirt to reward him for the moronic immensity of that statement.
dipsetkilla316- November 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm
But if ur in the ufc u shouldnt smoke and bonnar makes it ufc look bad
dipsetkilla316- November 6, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Lol i blaze every day and every one knows u cant bud isnt addictive not physically at least no one that blazes need rehab they just need something to do
Fried Taco- November 6, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Chill out, Danga, sounds like you're raging!
mcdolph- November 6, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I think Rayner musta had a bad experience with weed. There's no other possible explanation for thinking like that.
2DaDeath- November 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm
So lame. I hope I see legalization in my life time because this rehab business is bullshit. No one ever sucked dick for marijuana.
Mr_Misanthropy- November 6, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Well, there was that one time...