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The Nine Least Intimidating Fighters in MMA

Sure, it’s a hacky concept that you’ve probably seen before on an MMA forum, but we haven’t weighed in on it yet. Plus, Fighthype recently put together a list on the same theme that really sent us over the edge. (Lyoto Machida and Evan Tanner made their list, among other jacked and crazy-looking sonsabitches.) So without further ado, here are the fighters we wouldn’t mind coming across in a dark alley. Keep in mind that placement on this list is no judgment on their abilities as fighters, just on the fact that they look better suited to customer service or fast food restaurant management than cage fighting. Happy Friday.

***

9. Luke Cummo

8. Emmanuel Yarborough

7. Fedor Emelianenko and Wanderlei Silva (only when in drag)

6. Takanori Gomi

5. Gina Carano

(Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle)

4. Chris Horodecki

3 (tie). Bum Chan Kang, a.k.a. “Lee Gwan”; the fatties from DEEP’s Megaton GP

2. Tamdan McCrory

1. Art Jimmerson (on left, with boxing glove)

Who did we miss? Holler at us in the comments section with names and photo links…

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Tpark- December 15, 2008 at 4:01 pm
You forgot BUTTERBEAN!
Rich S.- May 30, 2008 at 9:13 pm
well.. Luke Cummo is un-intimidating.. but.. that's what ends up making him good.. because he's got good striking and ground skills..

and Takanori Gomi?? he might not be intimidating.. but...that all changes after you see him fight..

and i remember watching that UFC with the guy with the glove.. it's hilarious.. because he ended up losing via sub to Royce Gracie.. but it's not what you'd think.. he didn't tap to a submission move.. he tapped because he was mounted for sooo long and he couldn't get Gracie off of him.. i think he either just got scared.. or REALLY REALLY frustrated..

either way..
his spot at #1 is rightful..


and to the guy with the comments on diego sanchez and josh kos... i would NEVER put THEM on a list like this...
bungabunga- May 30, 2008 at 3:50 pm
i gotta go with Kenny Florian as the least intimidating....he looks like the dude from Revenge of the Nerds...every time i see kenny i'm waiting for ogre to come on the screen screaming NERDS!
Big M- May 30, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Honorable mentions:
-Jon Hess: An old school UFC fighter, biggest slob to ever grace the octagon, zero technique
-Joe Son: Another old school UFC joker
-Joe Lauzon: A decent fighter but pretty damn goofy looking
-Kenny Florian: A guy who ran away from Sean Sherk for 5 rounds straight
chunk354- May 30, 2008 at 1:59 pm
how bout diego sanchez or josh koscheck they both look like complete tools. plus if u heard diego talk he sounds like a slap tard. then you say that to him and bam ur half dead
Agonistes- May 30, 2008 at 1:39 pm
i gotta say man, ron van clief should be on their somewhere. dude looks like my ex gf's father...
GSP for Prime Minister- May 30, 2008 at 7:44 am
I meant that "Thiago Silva is one of the MOST intimidating" (in response to Captain Popetastic's post)
GSP for Prime Minister- May 30, 2008 at 7:44 am
Thiago Silva gets my vote... dude looks soooo badass, especially when he does the throat slashing thing after his wins
Vrax- May 30, 2008 at 3:44 am
I agree, Fred Ettish for the win, he was an alternate at UFC 2 and got DEEEstroyed by... uh John Rhodes? Maybe?
Noah- May 30, 2008 at 3:19 am
The guy that Pat Smith pounded the shit out of in the UFC early days, Kenny Florian, Mark Bocek (it's almost impossible for red heads to look tough), Joe Doerksen, Akihiro Gono, Eddie "Dirty" Sanchez. I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of any right now dammit!

By the way, the one glove guy is hilarious! I remember seeing that idiot fight, I couldn't help but think of Balrog from Street Fighter. Who the hell wears gloves in a fight when you don't have to?
Noah- May 30, 2008 at 3:17 am
The guy that Pat Smith pounded the shit out of in the UFC early days, Kenny Florian, Mark Bocek (it's almost impossible for red heads to look tough), Joe Doerksen, Akihiro Gono, Eddie "Dirty" Sanchez. I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of any dammit!

By the way, the one glove guy is hilarious!
galaxy- May 30, 2008 at 3:17 am
JoeSonsCross you dick there is even a link to the list learn to read
alen- May 30, 2008 at 2:53 am
wanderlei silva is one ugly mother fucker
EarlyAdopter- May 30, 2008 at 1:30 am
Fred Edish? not sure of the spelling. He was in either the second or third UFC. He looks like the guy I buy batteries from at wal-mart.
Aryan- May 30, 2008 at 12:18 am
If I didnt know penn he's make number one on the list
Anonymous- May 29, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Joe Lauzon

I agree- May 29, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Joe Lauzon looks like a serial killer or something..
Captain Popetastic- May 29, 2008 at 10:39 pm
This topic came up in my facebook group back in February. I gave my top five LEAST and top five MOST intimidating fighters. I'll just paste it here:

Least
1. Ryan Shamrock - To paraphrase myself, he looks like he couldn't even take my little sister.
2. Sean Salmon - The only thing scary about this dude is what his inevitable death in the ring could do to MMA.
3. Miguel Torres - Time to shave the dirtball mustache if you're going to remain a title holder. All joking aside, this guy is super talented.
4. Takanori Gomi - Looks like he's still in grammar school. Though he might bite the recess lady's breast. How could I forget?
5. Bob Sapp - He plays with dolls.

Most
1. Kongo - can't think of a scarier dude. Not even Paulo Cesar "Just let your soul glo!" Silva is more intimidating to a random street-goer.
2. Wand - Looks like one of the monsters from "30 Days of Night." I haven't actually seen the movie, but one of the vampire things shows up in the commercial, and for a second, I thought it was a promo for UFC 79.
3. Tim Sylvia - Anyone who wondered what would happen if Sloth spent the last 25 years drinking irradiated water and supplementing that with human growth hormone--meet the "Maine-iac."
4. Joe Lauzon - Are you kidding? Least intimidating? This dude looks like fuckin' Bat Boy. He'll drink your god damn blood! Yeah, I read Weekly World News. Where else am I going to get the truth?
5. Brock Lesnar - "So...you were havin' sex with the little fella, then." Any one of these features on its own is noteworthy, but combined: Massive 280+ lb man with a flat top, Minnesota accent and gigantic dick tattooed on his chest... Don't let this man buy you a drink.
JoeSonsCross- May 29, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Sorry, forgot the link to the list you ripped off.

http://fighthype.com/pages/content2666.html
JoeSonsCross- May 29, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Your list sucks and you just stole the idea from FightHype.com
Anonymous- May 29, 2008 at 10:00 pm
ryan shamrock should be on there somewhere shouldn't he?


http://www.cagepotato.com/2008/01/15/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-future-of-mma/
Eric- May 29, 2008 at 9:57 pm
What? Lesnar isn't on this list?
SpaceAlias- May 29, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Anderson Silva with his specs on looks very un-intimidating...but he is 6'3" so...
Also, I don't know what it is but Fedor has a very unassuming look to him. I would probably fight him if he pushed me at a bar (and I didn't know who Fedor is). That would be a very bad mistake on my part. That is why I don't fight anybody I don't know anymore, that little 5'3 nerd could be Matt Serra!
sarah- May 29, 2008 at 9:07 pm
although i agree chris horodecki should be on the list in some way, i find him very intimidating in a weird, i-look-12-but-am-practically-undefeated kind-of way.

it's a dude nicknamed "mom" - you know he should be lame, but you're kind of scared of saying anything abut it to his face, just in case that's exactly why he's nick named mom.

on an unrelated note, i have a lot of trouble deciding whether i hate BIG CHRIS or not. i'm so confused.
BC- May 29, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Joe Lauzon ftw.
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