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UFC Fires War Machine’s Dumb Ass

(Fail Machine. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Bad news for the fighter whose momma named him Jon Koppenhaver: The UFC has decided to fire War Machine“ due to an insensitive blog post he made in the wake of Evan Tanner‘s death, as well as his refusal to take a fight with an Octagon newbie. Machine confirmed his cut with MMA Junkie.

Following the tragic news of Evan Tanner’s death, Machine posted the following on his infamous MySpace blog:

No one is sure yet but it sounds like it was a suicide. Sad thing is that it makes sense. What else is an UNDERPAID fighter supposed to do at the end of his career?
Cash in his 401K? Collect social security? Start to work some shitty job for 10 bucks an hour?
Shit ain’t boxing and if you’re not Chuck Liddell or Tito Ortiz you don’t get paid dick.
Wasn’t like he made MILLIONS and blew it all like Mike Tyson, this guy fought his entire life and didn’t have shit.
No wonder why he took off to the woods.
Prolly reminisced on the days when he was champ, the days when growing old didn’t matter and took his life.
Severe depression plagues MANY fighters at the end of their careers. Mark my words when I say that “HE MAY BE THE FIRST, BUT HE ISN’T THE LAST.”

Machine removed the posting when it was reported that Tanner’s death didn’t appear to be a suicide, but he told MMA Junkie that he still kinda believes that it was:

“I still believe in my heart it was a suicide…maybe he didn’t shoot himself in the head, but I think he went up there maybe with plans not to come back…He was depressed, guaranteed. He had just lost to Kendall [Grove]. He was getting older. He knows he has no retirement plan. He had nothing, dude. That could be the outcome for a lot of fighters, myself included. I for damn sure guarantee you that if I’m in my 40s and I didn’t make enough money and I don’t have my own gym to support myself or whatever, I’ll probably kill myself too.”

Of course, his firing appears to be equally motivated by an ill-advised clash with UFC matchmaker Joe Silva.

Coming off a 56-second choke-out loss to Yoshiyuki Yoshida in May, Machine was recently offered a fight against Rumble on the Rock/X-1 standout Brandon Wolff, a new signee to the UFC’s welterweight division. As Machine tells it:

“I said, ‘Who in the hell is [Brandon] Wolff?’ So, I looked him up and made some phone calls. I’ve got a lot of friends in Hawaii — ‘Rude Boy’ (Troy Mandaloniz), Kendall Grove, my trainer. I got the same thing from everybody. They all said the guy is savage, sick, tough as hell, a really tough fighter and a really tough fight. Basically we all came to the conclusion that I have nothing to gain from the fight. He has no name, no fans other than the guys in Hawaii, and I thought that if I beat him, then no one is really going to care because I beat someone with no name. And if I lose, everyone is going to say I lost to a guy with no name, so I said [expletive] that.

“I want to fight someone with a name. I said, ‘Give me Josh Burkman. Give me Dustin Hazelett. Give me someone with a name.’

“They went back to the UFC, and Joe Silva said, ‘No. That’s the best fight I’ve got for him; take it or leave it. It was kind of threatening — like if I didn’t take it, they’d kick me out of the UFC. So, I was kind of pissed off and decided to play hard ball too. I said I’d wait for another opponent.

“Joe Silva — he was pretty much on a power trip. He was like, ‘I already told you that I already have Wolff for War Machine. I don’t know who he is thinking he’s negotiating with me. You know what? I’m sick of this guy.’ Then he brought up the Evan Tanner thing. ‘He made a dumbass comment on Evan Tanner. He’s not supporting the UFC. You know what? War Machine is cut.’ And they cut me.”

In other words, War Machine felt that at this point in his career, he should be allowed to pick his opponents, and he doesn’t need to prove himself by taking challenging fights. Makes sense, if you reside in WarMachineland. But don’t cry for War, because he already has his next fight lined up, which will go down at a small show next month:

“[T]o be honest, I wasn’t going to be a contender in the UFC anytime soon anyway. This is a way for me to go out there, maybe win a few smaller belts, get some more wins, get my skills up better, and before I know it, after a few years have passed, I’ll be ready to fight anyone. … Plus, I was really surprised by how much money they offered me for a small show.”

Godspeed, young man.

Cagepotato Comments

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Alorbs- January 11, 2009 at 1:16 am
well he didnt keep WhinerMachine updated...
UFC FAN'S DAD- September 24, 2008 at 10:46 pm
To all of you responding to my boy, please stop you are only encouraging his retarded behavior. Is it not obvious to you that only a person who needed to get attention by posting obvious garbage on the internet would say such things? He has no friends and lives off of the misery that he causes each and every person who looked up to Evan Tanner, plus I raped him so that is kinda messing with him. Seriously though he is probably some lonely loser with no friends sitting in his mom's basement talking shit to people on the internet. GET A LIFE YOU FUCKING LOSER.
Ken- September 16, 2008 at 11:55 pm
That piece of fucking shit, what gives him the right to dis tanner in that way. he will be lucky to ever be as good as tanner. Nor to have the courage he has. war machine is probably still a mommas boy. probably crying to his mom he lost his job, lol
emptyhandkiller- September 16, 2008 at 11:54 am
To all you F-ups who have been attacking Evan... yes, he was a total idiot.. but a good fighter also. I have no ideas about being better than him. I already have my tombstone ready for my self inflicted death. It will read, "Here lies Emptyhandkiller, who went through life Fat, Drunk, and Stupid." I hope they bury me next to Evan, so that we can talk about stuff.
skull- September 16, 2008 at 11:49 am
UFC Fan.... I am so very happy that you have seen the light and are now remorseful. May I suggest skulking around the cemetary, waiting a few days until after Evan is buried, and then digging him up? You could atone for all your sins by just talking it out with Evan. Who knows? An attraction may develop, and you might want to conjugate your visit. I am sure you won't tell anyone what you have done, and I know Evan won't rat you out..... I only kiss a picture of his buns, while you could have the real thing!!!!
UFC Fan- September 15, 2008 at 8:03 pm
I take back what i said. I realize i'm a dickless fruitcake with no life and talking shit is my only outlet. i just want to be heard...held. I should have just been real with you guys. no matter how many tapout beanies and affliction shirts i buy, they can never fill this void within my soul...that missing peice that drives me to the internets...spewing shit out of my mouth. I apologize.



PS- I would love someone to put their penis in my butt.
UFC fan- September 15, 2008 at 3:15 am
Skull your soft gentle demeanor has changed my very bad ways.
I will now kiss of the dead sainted ass of Tannerdom.
Move over kettle and all you other titsuckers share a little of the dead Tanner love you greedy bastards. :)

was it just me, or was that last interview of Tanners spooky?
I mean all that talk of "having a voice to speak, and having something very important to say", over and over and over...and over, and over, and yet NOT imparting his vast knowledge upon us when he had a camera right there in his face.....its so spooky, its sooooo scary, fucking mentally absurdly disturbingly deranged :)
wow, all that vast information he had to tell us all, and his oh so important voice.............I guess dead folks tell no tales.............wheres you fucking voice now Tanner? You dumbass! You nuthugger fans wanted to hear all your hippy double talk babble bullshit, now you have left them feeling hollow and empty inside, shame on you dead tanner, shame! I hope you rest in peace....and your scary inner person that you said was inside you as well.
forrest griffin- September 14, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Kettle- September 14, 2008 at 6:12 am
UFC FANboy...
how do you know the people posting praise for Tanner were the ones previously posting shit talking? if anything the people who didnt respect Tanner aren't posting anything about it, and the people who were fans from the get go are the people showing respect. you just jumped to that conclusion yourself dumbshit, and most likely you did so because you're such a self righteous cunt.
NO ONE is flawless. so whats wrong about remembering the positive about someone who's passed? i hope after your death your family just sits around and remembers all of your short-comings (if anyone cares at all)
furthermore you're calling people extreme and accusing them of only seeing only "black or white"... you mean kinda like you saying how wrong it is for someone to change their opinion about someone? by your standards, you either have to hate the shit out of Evan Tanner or be a 'fan boy" (however gay that sounds.... UFC FANBOY) seems a little EXTREME huh?
and really... for you to spend so much time whining about what anyone else's opinion is, is pathetic. you're so bent on being right about degrading a dead ex-UFC champ... i bet you didnt even meet Evan Tanner.
so just RELAX Capt. Anarchy, and let us sheep have our fun.

RIP Evan Tanner

and for the record, Brandon Wolff woulda beat the shit out of Fail Machine.
Titosucks101- September 13, 2008 at 11:09 pm
A couple of points for all the whiners. 1) Nobody holds a gun to their head. If you don't like the contract, DON'T FUCKIN SIGN. 2) I wasn't aware that the UFC was a charitable organisation. If you don't win fights, finish fights or put on a show you won't get ahead. Chuck Liddell makes a shitload of cash because he did all three. Now he doesn't. He will still make a ton of cash because he is popular. Fighters have to prove themselves and they need to put asses in the seats as well as ppv buys. As for making shitty unclassy statements, that is just a testament to what an idiot War Machine is. All I ask is "Who in the hell does he think he is" good riddance. I hear affliction might need some fighters
me- September 13, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I totally agree with anonymous and bobred
Anonymous- September 13, 2008 at 7:32 pm
If tanner did commit suicide he was damn fuckign good at hiding his depression. I seriously doubt it was a suicide, if you knew him you wouldnt be talkign this bullshit.
Oh how about the txt messages he sent when he was lost? I dont remember ewxactly what it said but something about getting help. Now if that was a suicidal man does?

Tanner did wonderful thigns for mma. One of the first down to earth fighters. Fuck all you tanner haters.
bobred- September 13, 2008 at 1:20 pm
The media can really paint a picture. WarMachine, my friends doesn't deserve all this. The guy grew up tough. Had no family and no one to guide him. For him to have even reached where he is now is an achievement on its own.
The guy speaks his mind. And won't get pushed around by anyone.
I am not a WM fan, I am just speaking as someone that has observed both sides of the story.
It is very easy for you guys to sit in front of your computers and bash someone you don't even know a thing about.
Dorothy Willis- September 13, 2008 at 12:18 pm
It was because Evan Tanner was so approachable that people loved him. He valued his fans and genuinely enjoyed spending time with them and making them feel important by the attention he paid to them. Not many fighters or celebreties take that trouble and extend friendship to their fans. Evan was unique and tried to help other people. Whatever his faults of failings he would pick himself back up and venture on. He was not a quitter. MMA fans lost a very special man when Evan died.
skull- September 13, 2008 at 12:04 pm
UFC fan... you are so wrong. About six years ago in Seattle, Evan Tanner walked into the gym I was at and started working out. Of course he caused a crowd. Later, when he was showering, I snuck a quick photo of his gorgeous buns. Now that he is dead, I pull out that pic before bed each night and kiss it. UFC fan, everyone else is kissing his dead buns, so why don't you join us? I hope you see the light someday and realize that Evan Tanner was a most miraculous and perfect saint.
jim- September 13, 2008 at 8:28 am
what a fucking prick....
Bill C.- September 13, 2008 at 2:12 am
Regardless of what people may have felt about Tanner's past personal issues, he was still a pioneer in this sport, and he deserves our respect for that. He was a former champion and a fearless fighter in the Octagon, and it was a pleasure to have been able to see him compete for so many years. Anytime he stepped into the Octagon, he put it all on the line.
Yes, Tanner had troubles, but it seemed that he was finally starting to get his career and life back on track and overcome the problems that had been plaguing him. He may have had flaws, but he was a decent human being and a good man, and he absolutely deserves the accolades and praise he has received posthumously over the last week.
He was a deep man, who had a lot of ideas that deserved to be heard, and it often brightened my day to see an athlete with such a penetrating worldview and with such diverse interests.
I count myself as one of his biggest fans, and it was a crushing blow to hear about his death earlier in the week. I'm sure I speak for all of his fans when I say that the outpouring of praise for the man and for the fighter is most assuredly deserved.
R.I.P. Evan Tanner. We're going to miss you.
DROP DEAD JACK- September 12, 2008 at 7:13 pm
UFC Fan -
"Tanner died cause he was a fucking idiot" - ufc fan

"for the record, I have said its sad he died, I never said anything different unlike the load of you morons" - ufc fan

Listen to don't even know what the fuck your keep on proving how much of a fucking dickless cocksucker you are. One thing for sure is you have no idea what respect is. Because if you had any you would show some. but instead you want to show everyone how much your parents fucked up in raising your retarted ass. (speaking of sheep - "UFC FAN" is about as mainstream as it gets cock sucker).

oh and speak for yourself when you say people talked shit on tanner. it was most likely you and your dick loving boyfriends. fucking tanner had a huge fanbase because of the person he was and his passing proves it even more.

UFC fan- September 12, 2008 at 5:43 pm
wow, what a bunch of whiny bitches you all are.
No one sees the 2 facedness of it all, oh well, for the record, I have said its sad he died, I never said anything different unlike the load of you morons, buts that's ok, we all handle lose differently, your way is to attach the living (me) and give sainthood to the dead (Tanner)....whatever boys, it don't matter what your opinion of me is, it is how it is, and nothing can change it.
Most of you are extremists, you see it as black or white , nobody's sees the shades of grey.
with stupid talk like how I should kill myself for daring to have an opinion to eulogy's stating all the bad.
See that proves my point, everyone with any sense knows eulogy's are for the living, and we say lies and overblown truths to make the family members feel good....they are BS, and we all know it. all you guys are doing is creating that eulogy for your ONLINE purposes, whatever makes you feel better about your meaningless lifes. :)
Its funny how you can say "oh we were just fooling around when we called him names and made fun of him before", yet you will ride Kimbo or Brock lesner or any other person you don't like, like Dana white or whomever the person of the week is to jump on but if they died I guess you would all turn around and sing their fucking praises wouldn't ya...cause hey you were just joking, just playing, just talking shit.
What this tells me is all you have ever done on this forum is " play" or kid around", you haven't posted a single serious thing.....oh Until Tanner died, then that made it all so REAL! fuck you 2 faced assholes, go circle jerk each other and convince each other that because the majority agree, it was positive circle jerk, and the reason I got left out was because I'm bitter, and fucked, and wrong and not worthy of your circle jerk :)
pathetic sheep!
shutupandfight- September 12, 2008 at 11:23 am
seems like someone is suffering from cuddle deprevation...WAR TANNER!
KTFO- September 12, 2008 at 11:05 am
Maybe ufc fan is right, from now on when people give the eulogy at a funeral they should just focus on all the bad decisions and stupid choices the deceased made during there life, fuck all the good stuff. Because that's the way we want to remember them right? Wrong, ufc fan go do yourself (and the world) a favor and wash your mouth out with buckshot. People as stupid as you aren't worth the steaming excrement you spew out of your filthy face sewer.
Anderson Silva's Heat-Seeking Missiles- September 12, 2008 at 9:32 am
2 ufc fan-

Your rant was on a "leave Britney alone!" level. But against Evan Tanner and MMA bloggers.
drop dead jack- September 12, 2008 at 3:27 am
@ ufc fan.

pathetic. I'm sure you get off on shit like this so i'll make it short. tanner wasn't a saint but i don't ever recall him acting like like a fucking retard (warmachine) or being a cocksucker, bitching about someone's legacy (you). you've already proven he's a better person than yourself dickbreath.

hope you enjoy hell cock sucker.
Just WOW- September 12, 2008 at 3:01 am
@ ufc fan...

dude it bothers you that people are saying nice things about Evan Tanner after he died??? so it would have made you feel better if everyone who called him "Hobo" tanner before just got on some forums and talked about how much they thought he sucked and shit like that? You sir are fucked up, there is nothing wrong with saying nice things about a guy who just died.

If something as meaningless as this really bothers you. you must be pretty pissed off all the time. Grow the fuck up and stand on a soap box about something that really matters. not the fact some people flip flopped talking shit about Evan Tanner because he died. Saying nice things about him now is just respectful. Most people were probably joking before about him, not a sadistic piece of shit like you.
soulpole- September 12, 2008 at 12:59 am
Thank god they fired his ass. For a guy to refuse a fight after he couldnt even make it past 1 minute because he isnt a "name" fighter, give your head a shake dude. You should have shut your trap, taken the fight, beat his ass and then maybe you have some leverage to pick your fights.

Regarding the Evan Tanner comments, you my friend are among the lowest of the low. That family must be going through so much right not to mention his friends all over the MMA community and you make a stupid remake like that. I met Evan Tanner at UFC 84 and he was a total class act and a legend of this sport we love and you are a never will be.