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Video: Steven Seagal Is Just Throat-Striking the Sh*t Out of Lyoto Machida


(Props: MarcosAlvaredo)

On last week’s Bum Rush epsiode, we ragged on Quinton Jackson for training with actor/stuntman/fighter Lance Gibson, whose 4-5 MMA career includes appearances in the UFC, SuperBrawl, and Shooto, and whose theatrical credits include "Bouncer," "Security Guard," and "Doorman." Of course, Jackson’s upcoming UFC 123 opponent is Lyoto Machida, a serious martial artist. That’s why, like Anderson Silva before him, Machida is taking aikido lessons from Steven Seagal. Nope, we see nothing worth mocking here whatsoever.


It’s hard to pick a favorite moment from this Brazilian TV segment, but the sequence from 1:22-1:28 when Seagal is bombing out on Machida with throat-strikes is simply too much to watch with a straight face. I also like the "whip-like" backhands at 2:34, and the upkick-catch-into-standing-heel-hook that begins at 3:37. Would any of that shit ever work in a real MMA fight? We’ll never know until Strikeforce signs the Lawman as Dave Bautista‘s first opponent. (Which is a legitimately good idea, by the way, even if Seagal would surely insist on competing in that all-black ninja getup, rather than take his shirt off.)

If you watch to the end, you’ll also learn that Seagal isn’t a huge fan of wrestling: "Don’t put yourself in a position where you’re wrestling with anyone. Ever. You’re cutting, with your punches, you’re cutting and you’re puncturing…you don’t want [clinches with Machida]…no want. Don’t waste your time. Get rid of him." And then he puts Machida in one more wrist-lock, because that’s what this man does.

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ashkenaziTROLL- November 17, 2010 at 10:35 pm
it's like a joke, but it's not
kiai_NT- November 16, 2010 at 8:31 am
Hey Nintendong man, Van Damme doesn't deserve to be on that shameful list. He ain't what he was but he had a 20-2 record with all wins by t/ko and both losses by dec. He COULD have been destined for K1 and more.....but decided he liked himself too much and went to Hollywood....'deep sigh'.......but he has swam man.
stopdrinkingpee- November 16, 2010 at 1:08 am
I would love to see someone pull off that upkick-catch-into-standing-heel-hook. Seriously, that would be awesome. Sub of the Year if it happens.

I wish they had subtitled Seagal's sound effects. "Whump!" "Uhhh!"
Peetee- November 15, 2010 at 11:51 pm
***
Peetee- November 15, 2010 at 11:50 pm
After Seagals aikido lesson Machida taught him acting...
LJM- November 15, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Nintendong, actually there have been a few aikido teachers who taught Green Berets. Japanese police are trained in aikido, because it really is a good way of controlling regular people (most regular people aren't fighters and can be controlled without breaking their bones).

I studied it for years, and while I love it as a philosophy and a useful tool for conflict resolution, I know that an aikido practitioner would not do well against a trained fighter (I think that's the main reason you don't see them in MMA). But the good ones will do fine against your average belligerent asshole.
danomite- November 15, 2010 at 6:02 pm
That Black House team is putting on one hell of an epic troll job.
DARKHORSE06- November 15, 2010 at 4:20 pm
It looks like Lyoto got conned into meeting Segal and it turned into a totally unwanted block of instruction.

Lyoto looks like he's waiting for somebody to pop out of a bush and say "haha! your on candid camera!"
swaboo- November 15, 2010 at 3:05 pm
This is painful to watch.
LOKI- November 15, 2010 at 12:56 pm
In Apil he(alledgedly)fought some 23 year old vietnamese broad and made her eat some pills so he could have his way with her.

Shortly after she pressed charges and he won the court battle too.

When was the last time you cut up a pair of rastifarrian drug-lord twins, or had a knife fight with Tommey Lee Jones or that white dude from 'Enter the Dragon'?

When was the last time you cut off Eric Begosian's fingers with a hellicopter door, or has a sweat-ass sword fight with Danny Trejo?
J-Dog- November 15, 2010 at 12:46 pm
Well it seems like the "Lawman" may be hard up for cash these days... doing terrible movies and reality tv series. I wish someone would throw some James Toney money at him to get into the cage. That would be epic. As a big fan of the late 80's & early 90's action flicks, I'd love to see JCVD, Segal, Norris, Wesley Snipes, etc in real MMA competition. Scott Coker needs to make this happen for us.
shitbag- November 15, 2010 at 12:45 pm
@macreadysshack is 100% correct.
shitbag- November 15, 2010 at 12:42 pm
@LOKI Uh....I've seen him "training" law enforemcent...he's winded and out of breath just walking into the dojo. 6'4" 260 lbs does NOT = fit and in shape. Have you seen this man's gut? That's the scariest thing about him. Seriously - how does he get close enough to apply a lock on someone when eating pie makes him out of breath.

Steven Segal is an idiot. He's made a lot of bad movies - and, by the way he is also CONVINCED a plot by the FBI has made all his movies fail, when he himself is actually just a big tub of fail.

When was the last fight of any kind Segal had and how did he do?
LOKI- November 15, 2010 at 12:33 pm
...I once drank a "Steven Seagal's Asian Experiance", teleported to Japan and powerbombed Bob Sapp. True Story

In all seriousness; He is a white American who grew up in Japan and taught a Japanese martial art in country when they were still having black rain from what the Enola Gay left em.

Do you really think he is a pushover who has nothing to offer MMA fighters or a real life combat sittuation?
Nintendong- November 15, 2010 at 11:58 am
I could argue about this all day, but common sense has clouded my vision and I think Seagal is a chump. Just like Van Damme, Jeff Speakman, Frank Dux and Billy Blanks.

To quote Matt Sera, "He is an expert swimmer, that's never been in the water."
Smitty- November 15, 2010 at 11:54 am
@ Nintendong
Segal is no joke my brethren. His claim to fame in the martial arts world IS making Aikido more aggressive, including strikes and kicks that were not common practice before. No you're wrong, the man is the real deal. Now I'm not sayin he could step in the cage and be "the man" there, but in a confrontation on the street, not many stand a chance. There is even variations of ground fighting in his style of Aikido.
macreadysshack- November 15, 2010 at 11:28 am
No contact 'combat' martial arts will get absolutely OWNED by any contact fighting sport fighter. One can't possibly develop the rhythm, distance and timing necessary without full contact competitive 'sport-style' fighting. All those 'ninjas' out there who have these tricks that are too 'dangerous' to actually practice won't be able to pull off jack shit when they're getting dumped on their head by a wrestler, leg kicked by a muay thai artist or completely ass raped everywhere by an MMA guy.

Sure, an MMA guy's got to adapt it for the street but it's a hell of a lot easier to take somebody who already takes damage and dishes it out and show them how to eye gouge, ear slap, small joint manipulate, Monkey steals the peaches or only use take-downs to dump guys to damage them and then disengage to scan for other targets.

An MMA guy who has just a tiny bit of direction about how to be more effective on the street is 1000 times more dangerous than some Ninja or Pentjak-Silat guy whose never, or very rarely, actually exchanged 'let's kick the shit out of each other' energy with another guy.
Nintendong- November 15, 2010 at 11:22 am
Loki you are out of your mind if you think Seagal would be able to do anything in a real life confrontation.

As far as training police goes, don't make me laugh. The local Shotokan guy here teaches inner city police restraint techniques and the guy is about 40lbs overweight and would get hosed in a real fight, just like Seagal.

There is a reason you don't see Aikido "experts" training the military in combatives or competing in the world stage of MMA.

Seagal is a joke.
Stenhård- November 15, 2010 at 11:02 am
He wont KO Rampage with a backhand slap to the forehead
DiazBrotherFromAnotherMother- November 15, 2010 at 10:38 am
why is he even bothering teaching lyoto things that are illegal in the cage? lyoto might as well watch bas ruttens self defense tape and just stab rampage in the liver with a bottle
rollin solo- November 15, 2010 at 10:29 am
I'm always hearing this argument on these comments about MMA versus other arts. I notice that some people don't understand the difference between a "combat martial art" and a "combat SPORT martial art". There is a huge difference between fighting on a street and fighting in a locked cage with lots of rules. Don't get me wrong, I love MMA and SOME of it would be very effective on the street (if you're fighting only one opponent, who "promises" to NOT pick up any bricks, steel pipes, etc.).

Example: You're a BJJ artist or wrestler who ends up on the ground fighting a would be mugger. You feel you're doing well and handling the situation until his cracked out friend walks up and shanks you in the gut or neck with a broken beer bottle. Case in point, your BJJ and wrestling actually got you killed in "real life". On the flip side, if you throw in a trained combat martial artist and told him he could only use 10-15% of his weapons or training, I'm sure he would get demolished in the Octagon by a well conditioned mma practioner.

There are combat martial arts out there that forbid their students from competing in sport arts because it gets the mind thinking from a standpoint of rules and that changes the mindset of a practioner all together. All I'm saying is that there are extreme differences in what we talk about and people need to understand that.

I love MMA and have been a fan since about 93' when you could only rent them on VHS 6 months after the PPV, but lets not get the arts twisted. NOW these guys are highly conditioned ATHLETES. Some of the best in the world. But it is THEIR cage and THEIR world they fight in.
BryanF- November 15, 2010 at 10:18 am
I guess you could say, Seagal wants Lyoto to be a....HARD TARGET!
pinkyslayer- November 15, 2010 at 10:08 am
"sometimes, at the beginning of a fight, it's good to come out and dominate your opponent, really scare him"
-Segal, Lawman.

HaidaNation- November 15, 2010 at 10:04 am
Strikeforce should do a "Legends" Battle putting Steven Seagal against Chuck Norris.
Videodrome_NOW- November 15, 2010 at 9:59 am
^Does he really play a Dime?
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