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VIDEO: WMMA Fighter Monique Bastos Chokes Out Would-Be Mugger

Reason #1001 Not to Rob *Anyone* in Brazil: If they aren’t ready to lay you out with a 2×4, chances are they know Jiu-Jitsu.

It seems like fairly obvious advice, but it’s something I bet Wesley Sousa de Araujo (aka the desperate sumbitch in the video above) wish had known before he and a friend attempted to steal strawweight fighter Monique Bastos‘ phone on her way to Jiu-Jitsu class Tuesday night.

MMAFighting has the scoop:

I was going to my jiu-jitsu training when they arrived on a motorcycle and said they wanted our phones,” Bastos said. “I tried to hold my phone, and I realized they were not armed. When they tried to escape, I lifted the rear wheel of the bike and they fell on the ground. The guy who took my phone ran away, but I was able to get the other one.

Can you imagine how frightening it would be to think you’re robbing this tiny, innocent little woman, only to have her go beast mode on your bike and then pummel you into submission? I’ll tell you one thing, that sure does not bode well Araujo’s chances in the big house. He’s gonna end up someone’s little acai berry in there.

Bastos, who was scheduled to compete under the Jungle Fight banner until a sickness (I’m guessing it was gamma radiation poisoning) sidelined her temporarily.

“I’ve been through this a few times before, and it’s the second time I fought back,” said Bastos to MMAFghting. “There were two guys, and they were using knives, but I was able to use my jiu-jitsu and get my phone back. It’s a huge risk, but I did it to defend myself and my friends, so I used what I learned.”

With all due respect to Ms. Bastos, at what point do you just give the guys your damn phone already? On the list of things I’d be willing to take a knife to the ribs for, the cell phone is virtually non-existent. Unless it had Emily Ratajkowski’s number on it, that is, in which case I must’ve already stolen the phone from someone else, so what do I care?

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