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Videos: Tank Abbott Knocks Out Mike Bourke, Chael Sonnen Is “the Fastest White Man Alive”

(Props: Sherdog)

We’ve already shown you the epic Ken Shamrock/Shamu the Whale match from last Friday’s Wargods event, and at long last, here’s the night’s other headlining bout, Tank Abbott vs. Mike Bourke. The comedy starts even before the bell rings. Even though Bourke was 8-11-1 coming into the fight, the ring announcer, perhaps thinking that what he was seeing on his notecards was a typo, declared The Rhino’s record to be 18-11-1. And you gotta love the lady-commentator’s mock-enthusiasm at the 4:00 mark: "I wanna see it go the distance! I wanna see it go the distance! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" The fight itself ends after just 29 seconds, following two point-blank rabbit punches from Tank. Awesome. Speaking of which, here’s how Ken Shamrock‘s weaselly little brother Frank described the Wargods show on his blog:

Wargods was terrible
i just finished watching the wargods show online. thanks sherdog. can i just say that it was so sad to see Ken Shamrock fighting on a c level show. i wish the best for him but think its time to hang it up.

What, and rob us of the Ken/Tank superfight we’ve been waiting for since 1995?

After the jump: FranklyWashedUp on the UG unearthed this enlightening 2006 video of Chael Sonnen‘s training and his life outside the cage, which includes real estate, a proud mother, and a hot girlfriend. Money line: "Even if I thought I could get a submission, I’m not laying underneath a grown man with my legs spread on worldwide TV. Some guys subscribe to that theory, but I’m a Republican, and we don’t do that." Hear that you jiu-jitsu faggots?!


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Surfin Dave- February 18, 2009 at 9:55 am
It was nice to see TUF Guy interviewing Tank there at the end.
HF- February 18, 2009 at 9:46 am
I heard Bourke was paid not to take it to the ground.
Josh Aint Thug- February 18, 2009 at 3:02 am
there really was no muscle memory at all in that fight
Blinknyrout- February 17, 2009 at 11:48 pm
It was Jennifer Alcorn. She is a retired boxer.
Saul Goode- February 17, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Chael Sonnen is pure douche! I can't even count how many fights I've seen where he screams like a girl when put in a submission, hoping that his opponent will loosen the hold so that he can get out. Now, that's a fag move...
Anonymous- February 17, 2009 at 8:51 pm
hit in the back of the head DQ?
Jay- February 17, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Is it me or was anyone else waiting for Chael to ask someone to pass him the Grey Poupon?

He is indeed a dowish.
Kintama Chikara- February 17, 2009 at 7:00 pm
I'll show her a fucking Whang.
Kimbo's a Bitch- February 17, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I agree. Leave all that nut licking for those faggott democrats. There so dumb, they still blame Bush for the economy. Read the news you dumbasses
Zach Mac- February 17, 2009 at 6:09 pm
sonnen is a fuckin fool. I hope Maia subs him from his back and then throws on a obama hat while he talks rogan through the replay
none- February 17, 2009 at 5:54 pm
what is the name of the song at the beggining of the Chael Sonnen vid?
AussieJosh- February 17, 2009 at 5:12 pm
The ring girl was fucking hot!
Big Mac Iraq- February 17, 2009 at 5:09 pm
It barely looked like a legit KO. I would not be surprised at all if I found out that fight was a work. He went down really clean and was clearly not out on the ground, when he grabbed his head... Maybe he was dazed. I am not calling a work, but I would not be surprised...

Wargods did have to have those fights end up as wins for the Tank-Ken 'superfight'.

Anonymous- February 17, 2009 at 4:59 pm
The she-beast interviewing Tank looks like she could give a good rub-n-tub on my meaty bone.
Stevia Addict- February 17, 2009 at 4:44 pm
I hope Maia chokes him out via tea bag. That's karma.
JaviG- February 17, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I hate Chael Sonnen, I'm glad Babalu made his bitch-ass tap.
Douche Machine- February 17, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Both those fat fucks Ken and Tank fought took dives and the color announcer is a retarded whore.

Worst fucking show.

Jomamma- February 17, 2009 at 4:15 pm
shouldn't that be an NC or DQ?
RoachToker- February 17, 2009 at 4:13 pm

How can you get a knockout victory with TWO illegal punches to the back of the head? How is that legal? Hey Tank, why don't you just punch your next opponent in the nads and then stick your fat fucking fingers in his eye socket.

Sorry if I'm old school and still like to see a FAIR fight. Where was the WAR GODS referee? What a bullshit event . . .
Meohfumado- February 17, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Today Wargods announced their new AARP division.
disorderlyvision- February 17, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Ken vs. Tank...Blah, I think you guys are missing the most important match up that could come from this Bo Cantrell vs Mike Bourke. We can see who takes the weaker shot before crumpling to the mat.
Tito Ortiz- February 17, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Damn guys! I think I should go to Wardogs! It looks like a great challenge for me in my flowering career! I'll take my chicken legs that way!
SlimPickens- February 17, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Sucks that the video cut off right before Chael met Chris Hansen.
Jenna Jamesons Labiaplasty- February 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Good thing he's a Republican and not some faggot like Larry Craig, Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, and Dick Cheney's kids.
DDT- February 17, 2009 at 3:24 pm
"So does Chael think Royce Gracie is gay and a democrat?"

Well isn't he?